October 10th, 2012 (255 words!)

After being hurt so bad,

How am I to trust again?

I really like you…

I really do.

But what if things don’t work out?

How can I go through those emotions again?

They were almost unbarable,

I wept for days,

I felt so horrible,

So broken,

Like someone was repeatedly stabbing my heart,

Again and again.

But I just wont  die,

My body wont let me,

I just have to take the pain constantly.

I’m so scared of that,

Of having to endure that hurt again.

The feeling of being cheated on…

Instead of thinking he’s jerk,

I ask myself what I did wrong.

Was I so horrible that he had to turn to other girls?

That I didn’t fulfil him?

Was I not good enough?

Am I too boring?

If I had given him what he wanted,

Would we still be together?

Is physical touch all that guys care about?

I want to believe you’re different,

That you’re better than him,

That you’ll treat me right,

And that you really care about me.

But I thought about the last guy,

And I thought he was amazing,

That he would never hurt me,

That he meant it when he said he loved me,

And I was wrong.

Boy was I so wrong…

So how can I bring myself to love again?

I don’t know…

Please help me,

Prove to me that you’re different,

That I’m worth something,

And that you care about me,

Not my body or looks…

Because I want to love again.