Dig Deeper
Dig deep,
find the key and open the doors that you keep your deepest darkest secrets
locked away behind them. These words have haunted me since day two of creative
writing. How come no matter how many times I try to dig deep and open those
doors I just can't? Am I using the wrong key? Or am I not trying hard enough?
But what I fear most is that maybe I don't have anything behind those doors.
What if I know everything there is to know about myself? Am I just an open
book, will I ever have anything to inspire my writing? What am I hiding from myself?
And why can't I find it? Does it have to do with my past? The horrible woman
whom I called my grandma that I spent so much time with? Or the present? My loss
of my best friend? Or did I lose so much more? Not only my best friend, but
also part of my childhood? I keep trying to clock out so many memories we had
to ease the pain, but should I just be thankful for the time we had? For the
laughter we shared? Well my dear friends, I think I have opened a new door. A
new one, on that i put up to keep out the hurt and pain. But maybe, just maybe,
it's time for me to stop trying to be so strong, and just let myself cry and
learn from my past and my pain. I feel a relief now, like I have learned
something brand new about myself.
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