September, 17th 2012 (315 words)

Today Mr. Anderson tried to get us to open the doors that we have locked with our deepest secrets hidden inside, and to let them all out, we may not even know what the are or that we locked them away because we have pushed them aside for so long. We were told to write down what we find. I didn't find anything, I tried so hard to dig as deep as I could and learn something new about myself, but I found nothing. I felt like behind my door is never ending dark hallway with hundreds of doors, but only one key in the world will open them, but it's hidden at the grim and starless unreachable depths of the enormous ocean that I can never reach no matter how hard I try. I need to learn how to let myself out, if I have no way of getting the key to my doors, then I am just going to have to find another way, maybe pick the lock? Or maybe blow up the doors, whatever it takes, I will find a way. What if there is nothing to find about myself? What if I’m just an open book with no secrets? Nothing that I’ve hidden over the years? It can’t be! There has to be someone in there that I’m not anymore, that little girl inside of me, you know, the one that used to dream of flying, the one that would jump off the porch with an umbrella after watching Mary Poppins? Where can I find that girl? Where is she hiding? I’m determined to probe into my past and find her, and what it was that gave her all of these magical and mysterious ideas. I won’t quit until I find her, I will find a way.

It is never too late to be what you might have been.
-- George Eliot