What would drive a person to betray everyone that loves them?
I usually refrain from blogging about other people, but this is just something that I need to write about. Maybe writing about it will give me some clarity.
I had a friend, one that meant more than the world to me. She was the one person in this world that I had trusted with EVERYTHING. She knew every single one of my darkest secrets. But one day, out of no where she freaked out on me. No one has ever said such cruel things to me before that night. It was all over text and I couldn't take the drama anymore, (another close friend was mad at me to and texting me about it) So i turned my phone of for the night. The friendship came to a complete stop without a word being spoken between us. I was crushed. I lost my best friend and hadn't the slightest clue why.
Then I started hearing things, from EVERYONE, things that nobody knew about me except for her. And all of a sudden other people knew my deepest secrets. Soon i came to the horrifying realization... Everything that I had told this girl, the one person I trusted... She told other people... Someone that wasn't even my friend yet told me everything she knew about me.. But it gets worse, half of these things weren't even true! Then I s tarted hearing all the horrible rumors this girl had spread about me. What was wrong with her? It was so scary to hear all the crazy things that she was making up about me. I also soon realized that she was doing it to others now. She was telling their secrets that they had trusted her with and she was making up out of this world freaky things about them. What had come over her? The longer this went on the more I realized how manipulative and controlling she was. I realized that she had told lies about other people to keep me from being friends with them. And it worked.
Now she has lost everyone, all her best friends, none of us want anything to do with her anymore. We all still love her and care about her, but friendship will never be an option again for her. I could never be friends with someone so untrustworthy, someone who lies about me, and especially not someone so controlling.
It's like she has a disease, one that forces her to hurt and betray people. She ripped apart so many peoples lives. And now she things that a simple apology will make it ok? NO! She is going to have to show that she is sorry before any of us even start to consider letting her back into our lives. If we ever do. I don't think I will quite honestly.
Well it certainly felt good to vent, but i don't think i'll ever find clarity. I think it's because there is no excuse for treating people so horribly. But what i did find is forgiveness, I forgive her for hurting me, I still want nothing to do with her, but I forgive her.
No comments:
Post a Comment